


Wonder

by ohssens



Category: Red Velvet (K-pop Band)
Genre: Angst, F/F, rip seulrene, this is the angst that no one asked for
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-25
Updated: 2016-05-25
Packaged: 2018-06-10 15:18:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6962239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohssens/pseuds/ohssens
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Joohyun still thought about Seulgi in all those years.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wonder

Joohyun stared at her intently.

And Seulgi, Seulgi could almost feel the older woman’s gaze piercing in her skin, pricking each pore on her face like a thousand tiny needles, with the pain (as well as the strange pleasure) to come all the same. The cold silence in the air on the other hand numbed her and she could feel the hairs on the back of her neck standing up. Perhaps they were frightened, too, just like how she would always be afraid. (Afraid of whi? Joohyun?)

And Joohyun kept staring at her, her brows were furrowed.

Seulgi felt that a million thoughts had now passed her head. Joohyun was still here, and Seulgi was still sitting down opposite Jher, in a Renaissance-styled restaurant she had already forgotten the name of. The angels painted all over the ceiling have probably been praying for her salvation for the last 45 minutes now. 

But suddenly, a muscle in Joohyun’s face twitched; Seulgi was not exactly sure where, or what she precisely looked like, because she found that she was unable to look at Joohyun clearly. (How could she? She could barely even breathe like this.)

Then Joohyun opens her lips, and that’s when she says it. This time, Seulgi hears it loud and clear. 

 

“I love you.”

 

Seulgi’s eyes immediately widened, and her heart beated faster. She couldn’t breathe properly. She supposed, and she’s pretty sure, that what’s supposed to succeed is a bursting feeling in her chest, or her stomach, for that matter, but Seulgi does not feel anything from Joohyun’s verbal admission. Not anything in particular. She had only felt that being with Joohyun in the past years had forced her to accumulate thick, multiple layers all over her skin, layers that were impossibly difficult to crack open. Seulgi’s mouth remained agape, but it was not bewilderment that she felt. Seulgi felt nothing. She felt a hollow emptiness further scraping at the walls of her stomach, as if its only purpose was to make her feel that she was another step away to being human.

“Do you still feel the same?” Joohyun had cautiously asked after a pause, whispering.

Seulgi furrowed her eyebrows. Of course not, Seulgi immediately thought in her head. How could she love Joohyun? She did not!

“I don’t know.” Seulgi replied. Her voice was flat.

For a moment, she felt guilty for having lied to Joohyun- but what was one lie against the thousands that Joohyun had told her? But then again, this is also what Seulgi would always be– afraid. Fear bossed her around like she was a dog, all her life. But tonight, Seulgi decided that that was going to change. The time was ripe, and the time was now.

“Anyways, I- I have to go.” Seulgi stutters.

Joohyun’s face churned into a mix of guilt and embarrassment. For a while, Seulgi almost thought she looked utterly pitiful, but Seulgi set that aside. 

Instantly, Seulgi stood up. She wears the coat that was previously hanging behind her seat. “I’m sorry.” She quickly murmured. But what was there for Seulgi to be sorry about? She did not know either. Perhaps it was useless chatter, at this point, just anything to fill the air hanging between her and Joohyun. 

Seulgi walked over the register without looking back, paying for the both of them, and she left. Walked out the door.

And Joohyun doesn’t take her eyes off of the direction Seulgi has gone to- out the exit. She remains frozen. To say that she was stunned was an understatement.

That was the last time Joohyun had seen a glimpse of Seulgi.

 

///

 

Joohyun is startled from her daydream when Bogum rests a hand on her shoulder. 

He asks her a mundane question, probably if she had wanted to eat dinner out, she does not really listen. She simply refuses his offer and gives him a timid smile, an expression that she had grown to perfectly and artificially craft from the years.

And speaking of years, it’s been three years since she had last seen Seulgi. 

She still wondered what Seulgi was up to. Did Seulgi still prefer only decaffeinated tea? Did Seulgi still go to the doctor for her joint pains? Did Seulgi still dance? But she didn’t know, of course. How could she?

It’s been three, long years since Joohyun had last seen Seulgi, but Joohyun still thinks about her. 

Joohyun doesn’t really know what’s worse between the two.


End file.
